There's no need for an introduction, I know who I am. Most of the time. There's a lot in my head that still needs configured and readjusted. A lot of things I've done in my past have rewired my brain into this jumbled mess of currents.
Most of the time, I'm keeping to myself. Not bothering. Not burdening. And with that lonesomeness comes a never-ending stream of thoughts. Ranging from self-doubt to self-pity. But almost always consisting of the self.
Most of the time, I'm keeping to myself. Not bothering. Not burdening. And with that lonesomeness comes a never-ending stream of thoughts. Ranging from self-doubt to self-pity. But almost always consisting of the self.
I don't know if I am fully capable of the entire spectrum of emotions anymore. I can feel pain. I can feel happy. Am I really hurting though? Am I really happy?
In the past couple years, I've noticed I can't continue crying for more than a few minutes. I am sad. But I can not cry like I used to. Does this make me stronger? Or colder? Part of me doubts that I will ever be strong enough for my own good. So I am colder. I am more withdrawn from everyday things. I would rather not put my heart and soul into anything anymore, in fear of having it fatally wounded.
I sit in my room like this lonesome little girl. Day in. Day out. Trapped. I am Trapped. But I have no one to blame but myself.
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